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Today I am Cake

Guest Post by Tamara Pogin M.A. C.C.C. Speech & Language Pathologist

I started working with a little boy, Ethan, this week. I confessed to Mom that I am muddling through these first sessions, trying to stumble upon strategies that work as I take in information about his needs, his strengths, his likes and dislikes.

Today, we had a high point when Ethan expanded his pretend play by inviting his favorite lovey toy to get in the pretend car with us. We also had a low point when he cried inconsolably about our clinic not having the right swing when we went outside.

When it was time for Ethan to go home, he was still visibly upset, though no longer crying. I started singing a goodbye song from Super Simple Songs Three (#19). I held his hand and sang as we walked down the hallway. Ethan loves music. For one of the few times that session, he looked right at me and said with sheer relief, You're cake. His mom said that that was a good thing, but she didn't need to tell me that. Little Ethan was telling me, You found something that made me feel better. Whether it was the sound of my voice, or my hand in his, or some combination of both, I plan on doing it again. I am hoping next time will be better and that we'll continue to get the chance to learn from each other. Today, I learned that it is good to be cake.

Playing -- Insight by Evelyn Glennie

I want to share with you my most inspiring internet discovery of late--the TED presentations.


There are more than 100 brief, mind popping talks, recorded and shared on the TED site on the topics of Technology, Entertainment, and Design, that are from a yearly conference held in my home state, California. I hope that you will listen to many of these talks but especially, toward the goal of becoming a more accomplished player, I hope you will listen to one. This one, my favorite, so far, is a talk by a deaf percussionist, Evelyn Glennie, who manages, in her 30 minute presentation on listening to music, to describe the experience of playing with a child who has autism--my own and what I see parents enjoying. That is to say that once you have decided to play, no matter how differently you might have to approach the activity, it is an intense, amazing, joyful, creative experience.

Her talk is called How to Listen to Music with Your Whole Body. Idea highlights from her talk include: the importance of spending time and opening up mentally because first impressions are superficial, there are different levels of listening and participating that we are capable of when we extend our effort wider and deeper, there is a unique creative force in self-expression, behavior that does not express meaning and intention is empty (and relating this to play, communication behaviors are meaningful within the context of play--where these same behaviors may be empty in a drill-like context), there is an arbitrary and limiting nature to many boundaries and rules that we set for ourselves and others (imagine the loss if Evelyn Glennie's teacher had not found a way to teach her), sometime what appears to be a limitation (deafness in a musician or autism in a child) may offer the child and all of us an alternative, but beautiful way of experiencing the world ...

I have no idea if anyone else listening to this extraordinary woman will understand better all that is possible in spending time playing with a child who has autism--but I did and you may.

Here is the description of her presentation from the TED site:

In this soaring demonstration, deaf percussionist Evelyn Glennie leads the audience through an exploration of music not as notes on a page, but as an expression of the human experience. Playing with sensitivity and nuance informed by a soul-deep understanding of and connection to music, she talks about a music that is more than sound waves perceived by the human ear. She illustrates a richer picture that begins with listening to yourself, and includes emotion and intent as well as the complex role of physical spaces -- instrument, concert hall and even the bones and body cavities of musician and listener alike.

What a Child with Autism Can Do with Grandpa

I get asked by grandparents and aunties and others for tips on how to play with a relative who has autism. They tell me that they feel standoffish and uncomfortable but actually want to play and interact with their young relatives. I believe, if they work at it and they get a little help, Grandpa or any loving relative can create a meaningful relationship with a youngster who has autism. If you are the parent and you have learned how to play and interact with your child, the next step may be to help other willing relatives learn a way to be part of your child's life.

Identify a Starting Activity

One trick is to help important relatives find an appropriate starting ritual or game to do with your child each time they are together. If your child is young, one of the games from austimsgames.org may be just right for the two of them. Or maybe your relative already has a good starting ritual, but has not identified it as such or does not use it consistently. "You know, Dad, how you often take your hat off and put it on Emily's head and then accuse her of stealing your hat? Emily loves when you do that." Explain that your child likes things that he or she can predict--that have happened before and will happen again. Tell each important relative that you are trying to find some activity that will become a bond between them and your child.

Think Simple, Brief, Unique

Simple: If Grandpa is a singer, help him find a unique song that he will sing to your child each time they are together. If Grandma paints (or even if she is willing to paint) encourage her to sit down next to your child at the kitchen table (your table or hers) and pull out the water color paints. They don't have to talk much, if your child is not too good at conversation yet. Your child does not even need to paint with grandma until he or she is ready. But in your child's mind, Grandma becomes the person who paints with me.

(Here is a unique painting activity that anyone can do with a child on the computer. Just start moving the cursor around and click to get a new color.)



Auntie can create a bonding ritual each time she comes by bringing a sticker for your child if your child loves stickers. Encourage your uncle who is an airplane mechanic to email pictures of "Cool Airplanes" to your child, or just parts of the airplane like the tires or the engine--particularly if your child likes mechanical things. A teenage cousin might engage your child in a simple board game or a wrestling match every time they come together.

Brief: You know how long your child can interact with others. If it is two minutes, then create a one minute routine for your child and the important person to do together. A one minute song for Grandpa to sing. A one minute art project for grandma to do next to your child. Tell Auntie to present the sticker with a flourish and then smile and move away. Find longer activities for your child to do with relatives as your child is able. Let relatives know how long to continue and when to quit.

Unique: The trick to this strategy is that your child associates each person with one enjoyable but unique activity. Maybe one cousin throws socks down the laundry shoot with your child. Another plays a tickle game. Or one grandpa fishes with your child and the other takes him to the library, each person becomes a unique but predictable source of pleasurable social interaction.

Teaching Language with Songs

Here is a perfect example of teaching new vocabulary with a song. Unlike many children's songs, the songs from Super Simple Songs are created specifically to teach children new vocabulary--they were created for young second language learners. They are really simple enough in language structure and sung slowly enough that children with autism are more able to hear the words and repetitive enough that children with autism are more likely to learn the words.

Mind, Music, Mystery

Today, my friend, Dr. Susan Larson Kidd, gave one of her fabulous music presentations where she made the connection between music and the mind both clearer and more mysterious. She pulled out her locally famous depictions of the human brain, artistically rendered and sliced this way and that. We all listened as she explained that music activates the brain in some predictable and some unpredictable ways. Music vibrates down the nerves altering how we perceive the things around us and how we perceive ourselves. Together, we, the workshop participants, demonstrated that music moves the body as we swayed or tapped in time to music that she had us listen to, feel, and reflect upon. As mysterious as music is, we discovered we all know quite a bit about it--even the barely musically literate among us--namely me.

Why would sound waves hitting the ear drum have such a profound emotional impact on human beings? I still don't understand that mystery. But, I resolved, once again, to try to use music more in my work with children who have autism. If music will help calm the limbic system--then I should be using it. If music will wake-up the frontal cortex--then I should be using it. Regulating, organizing, emotionally supportive music is the least expensive and surely the happiest therapy tool around.

Interesting Science Program related to music and the brain:

Radio Lab on Music

Piggy Back Songs

This discussion about Piggy Back Songs is an Autism Games Web Site preview. This Friday, I will post a new Autism Games page, all about using music with children who have ASD. The upcoming music page was written by a Guest Contributor, Dr. Susan Larson Kidd. Even her name sounds fun, doesn't it? I hope this blog will spark your interest in more information about using music with your child.

The first time I heard about Piggy Back Songs was from another wonderful special educator, Speech & Language Pathologist, Marty Hesselroth. She could sing and she did sing as she worked with preschool children, often making up wonderful lyrics to preschool songs right on the spot. Everyone around her was happier because she sang, and her young students learned new words and new word combinations this way.

The good thing about putting new words to old music is this. Most of us are more able to make up new words than we are able to make up new melodies. Sometimes the new words are better than the original words--for our purposes. "The Farmer picks a wife" is just not that helpful to building a basic language system. Who needs to say that? I am not sure if "Hi Ho the Dairyo" was ever a useful phrase but what would the song be without it?

Used as a refrain after "Mommy combs your hair, mommy combs your hair, Hi Ho the Dairyo, Mommy combs your hair" the song becomes useful for teaching language. This song can be useful in other ways too. If you stop combing hair at the end of the verse, the song marks time--letting your child, who may not so much like hair combing, know how long hair combing will last. Even if your child does not like hair grooming, singing the song may bring your child willingly to the activity--signalling the beginning in a way that your child can accept.

"Amy doesn't like it, Amy doesn't like it, Hi Ho the Dairyo, Amy doesn't like it" allows Amy to express her feelings.

"Daddy thinks she's pretty, Daddy thinks she's pretty, Hi Ho the Dairyo, Daddy thinks she's pretty" helps Amy develop self-awareness, self-esteem, a relationship with Daddy.

"Amy picks a hair tie, Amy picks a hair tie, Hi Ho the Dairyo, Amy picks a hair tie" helps Amy learn to make a choice, participate in morning grooming routine.

"Amy's hair is done, Amy's hair is done, Hi Ho the Dairyo, Amy's hair is done!" helps give the hair routine a clear ending.

The clip above is not actually a Piggy Back Song, but it is a bit of musical fun that I found on You Tube by another talented educator Febielin: Get a Haircut