The Loudest Girl In the Room Podcast, Hosted by Lauren Ober

 

Over the last few days, I have been listening to a podcast which tells the story of a woman who is newly diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Lauren Ober.  Lauren is a professional journalist and story teller, and thus, this may partially explain why this podcast is excellent. She has story telling skills.  She builds emotional tension, then relieves it with humor but follows this with data points and personal disclosures. She masterfully combines narrative storytelling with live audio interviews from her own life,  giving one the feeling of being right there with her, experiencing her grace, her awkwardness, her empathy, her excitement of discovery.  The quality of recording and editing is also well done and this podcast is an auditory treat. The content is well-researched but is also original because it is the story of her journey as she explores the science and the wider world of ASD.  I found myself moved, informed and just happy to get to know Lauren Ober.

For me, a Speech Language Pathologist who provided communication therapy for children with ASD exclusively for many years, this podcast brings back memories. I remember the girls specifically, each one unique, funny, frustrating, and surprising.  One after another, children age two to eight would come in to the clinic where I worked in the early 2000's. Some were not yet using words and others spoke but atypically.  Parents were concerned about the preschool-aged late talkers.  They were very confused when their preschool child communicated in a highly unusual manner.  I remember parents who wondered if their daughter might be a genius mathematician, a future historian, or a born actor because their child could compute numbers before learning hold a conversation or had memorized all the Kings and Queens of the British Empire or could carry on an amazing conversation but exclusively spoke in memorized quotes from Disney movies.  I remember many parents who were concerned about their child's social isolation at daycare, the park or family gatherings.  I was often the first professional to recommend an evaluation to rule out autism spectrum disorder or sometimes I never mention ASD but I knew what I was seeing.  Since many pediatricians, child psychologists, even neurologists at that time would entirely miss the early signs of autism, I remember working long and hard to write a detailed report.  I wanted to let the professional reading my report know what to look for, what I had seen and what it meant.  It felt like guiding a horse to water but just hoping the horse would drink. It usually worked, and many children were provided with a diagnosis of ASD.  However, many young girls were not given a diagnosis of ASD.  In truth, I was not sending girls with such clearly spelled out reports because I was unsure about what I was seeing. 

I certainly might have failed to identify a preschool aged Lauren Ober as a youngster with ASD had she come to the clinic where I worked.  I remember several little girls who did not check off enough of the lagging social skill boxes to fit my understanding of the diagnosis. The diagnostic criteria was developed based heavily on how ASD looked in boys so in retrospect it seems obvious that girls might not look exactly the same. At the time, I understood that ASD was much more common in boys. But we saw a fair number of "autistic-like" girls and if there were delays in language development, we talked to their parents about lagging social skills when these were evident.  We put these girls in social skills groups, when we could, with the explanation that "while your daughter does not fit the criteria for autism, she has some developmental needs that are similar." Young Lauren Ober may not have demonstrated obvious delays in language development and subtle differences are often perceived as quirky and, honestly, families are wonderful in how much they tend to enjoy quirkiness.  At the clinic, we also enjoyed quirkiness and our goal was to not see every difference as a pathology. 

If Lauren Ober had attended the elementary school where I worked and come to my attention, I would have been concerned and I would have considered the possibility that she might have a form of ASD   By the time I left the early childhood clinic to work in a school, I was aware that girls were being identified as having Attention Deficit Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, and various behavioral disorders when the most educationally supportive diagnosis would be ASD.  I saw some of the same girls that I felt were just quirky as preschoolers and realized they were seriously struggling with the social demands of school.  Lauren Ober described her school experience in a way that was very familiar to me.  At that time we were at least trying to make school life easier for girls with social challenges.  Our success was mixed.  I teamed up with a social worker or a school counselor and ran many social skills groups.  I spent time in classrooms explaining what was making it hard for many youngsters-boys and girls. We tried to provide educational support and sometimes students benefited hugely.  The challenge was that each child pieces together an identity in a unique way and intervention strategies that are helpful to one may feel insensitive and hurtful to another.  The other issue, beyond matching the right support and intervention strategy to the right student, was finding the right staff member to provide support.  Many times, classroom assistants are charged with carrying out intervention strategies in the classroom and while some are amazing insightful professionals, but others are learning about ASD for the first time as turn over in staff is problematic. 

Many fascinating, challenging, heart-warming and heart-breaking stories came rushing back to me as I listened to "The Loudest Girl in the Room" podcast.   Thank you Lauren Ober, should you run into this blog post, for your efforts, your honestly and your vulnerability as you create this podcast.    It is a pleasure to listen to your story.